Hi, its been 10 weeks since I posted on Curls and Contours. I took an unexpected break from my website, and if you follow me on Instagram you know that we experienced a house fire on September 9th. Our family is safe, my son, husband and dogs safely got out of the house. We are so grateful for their safety and our continued health. Our home is smoke damaged and the garage is a total loss. We are displaced from our home, and without nearly all of our things. We are finally after 8 weeks starting to move off of devastated and into another stage of grief and recovery. After the fire happened I had to lay down things in my life that felt like too much, and one of those things was Curls and Contours the blog. I have posted weekly on this site for many years, when we went into crisis mode I quickly transitioned into focusing on my child and our family. Getting us stabilized was my top priority.
Now after 10 weeks, our home has been emptied of all of our things, our garage is down to the studs and our remodel is well underway. The haze of the destruction and sadness that comes with a house fire is lifting and we are seeing the next phase of this process. The part where we rebuild our lives and move on. No one is immune to bad things happening, we are all carrying things with us in this life that are hard, and we all experience events that change us, give us perspective. When you lose your home, you cling to the constants in life. Your family, your job, and caring for yourself. Through this process, it’s those things, those routines and preplanned activities(preschool, work) that have kept us going. In a marriage, empathy towards each other, loving first, remembering that both parties are experiencing the displacement in their own unique way. It’s not easy buts its carrying us through this hard time.
After the fire I have searched for a list of things I should be doing, a to do list for how to handle the house, the contractors, the cleaners, the insurance. That really does not exist, and I think its probably different for every insurance company. So in lieu of a “WHAT TO DO AFTER A HOUSE FIRE” list. Heres some advice. Lean in, and have grit. Dealing with the insurance, contractors and cleaning vendors is like a full time job. You are exhausted, displaced, sad and overwhelmed. In this moment, the easy thing to do is let it wash over you, take the minimum and just get through it. But. Thats not what you should do. You need to lean in, and set yourself on seeing every detail through. Grit and determination is what will at the end of this, be a silver lining.
Its ok to be sad that you lost your material things. Your home is the safe space, losing that is devastating. Its an immense grief, and its 100% ok to be sad that you dont have your favorite coffee cup, sweater or pair of shoes anymore. A house fire is unexpected, sudden and so destructive whether its from smoke damage or totally burnt up. I felt a lot of guilt after the fire for feeling so sad over my personal belongings, most well meaning people respond with “Well, what’s important is that no one is hurt” and I do agree with you. I am so lucky that my son, husband and pets came out of the fire unscathed. But. Losing all the things that you’ve carefully selected, purchased and worked for is really hard. You aren’t shallow for loving your stuff, you are human.
In all of this mess, I have questioned WHY, why did this happen. What could this mean for my family. I don’t get to have that answer right now, but I do have myself. I have the ability to see this through and try to come out on the other side of this better for it. The insurance, its a maze of paperwork, online forms and endless lists and categories. Now is the moment to lean into it, and go through each line item. Dont glaze over it.
Thats where I am going to end this post. And pick up my weekly blog posts once again, because like so much in this world. Life carries on, people go to work, holidays come and go.
So many of you have reached out to me during this difficult time. I cant tell you how much it means to me. Thank you.